I had to put down a plant yesterday. It was a mercy killing, but also one for which i was responsible. Every day I would glance at it and think, "you really should re-pot that poor cramped thing." And then I would promptly forget. It was screaming for a change--well, inasmuch as a plant can scream--and I didn't listen. And so the poor thing ended up in the dumpster. RIP, little plant. We barely knew ye.
I, too, am a bit root-bound these days. My blooms from a year of exploration have bolted and gone to seed. My stems are over-crowded and starting to yellow and wilt. This Petal is looking a little faded and careworn. As I sprint from activity to activity, always keeping busy busy busy, I fail to see that my lack of basic maintenance not only means keeping that which is no longer fresh, but is also inhibiting growth. I have grown untidy, past the point where wildness starts to look a bit like chaos. There's no landscaper on staff, sadly, so it's down to me. It's time to pull on the filthy Carharts and some thick gloves, grab some clippers (and maybe a machete) and get to work.
So you plant your own garden and embellish your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring flowers to you. And you learn that you can actually bear hardship, that you actually are strong, and you are actually worthy, and you learn and learn...and so every day. (Borges’ “Aprendiendo”)
Each day I momentarily observe that I have outgrown the old. Cramped, random bits escape from the bottom, sending out shoots without having anywhere to go. And I need a bit of deadheading; it's beyond time for ruthlessly ridding myself of the frowsy blossoms that steal the energy that should be going to building stronger roots and mightier branches. I observe it, and then I promptly--and, probably willfully--forget. But it's nature's way: no showy new blooms until the old ones go in the bin.
Time to let myself stretch out, its time for some spaciousness and expansiveness. Maybe an aggressive chopping back and a new shot of color are called for here. And of course the benefit is that all the shit can just be called compost.